Silence

That question crossed my mind
Where will I get the answer?
I came looking for the answer to my father
But my father was silent
I turned to my mother
She was also silent

My curiosity is unanswered
Until the internet
My friends… cyberspace, strangers
Give me answers to my curiosity
However, it turns out that I got lost
I got lost because of the wrong answer
And still, my mother and my father remain silent

Do they realize when they were silent?
The world started to possess me
Filling my mind with the digression
And pornography started to lock me up
Until it’s finally too late
Will they remain silent

One of the main enemies in overcoming pornography is silence (Mark Laaser, Ph.D.).
Parents keep silent when pornography is easily found in cyberspace.
Parents keep silent when children are filled with curiosity about sexuality.
Parents keep silent when their children starting puberty and develop sexuality.
Parents keep silent when their children ask questions about sexuality.

And, do we still want to be silent. When we stay silent, children will get their knowledge of sexuality from this world. This information can come from cyberspace, drivers, household assistants, friends, or even strangers. The dangerous part is that this information is often wrong and misleading the children. Moreover, we often only realized it when children are lost by pornography.

Therefore, it would be better if we don’t remain silent, but rather be more active and have the initiative to protect children from pornography, such as:

  • Learn to be more open about sexuality topics. Give a positive response to the questions given. If you don’t know the answer to the question, say that you will seek the answer and give the answer to them as soon as you find it. When you keep silent, are you willing to let the world gives wrong answers to your child’s questions?
  • Have a discussion with your children regarding the sexuality topics, such as differences between women and men, wet dreams, menstruation, pornography, or dating. If you keep silent, your children will get values from the world on these topics. Are you willing to let that happen?
  • These discussions can be held when:
    • Reading fairytales or bedtime stories
    • Family meal
    • Watch movie together
    • Travel together in the car
    • The existence of daily events, for example, events at school or around the house

There is a saying that silence is gold, but silence is not gold in the education of children’s sexuality. Silence, will not stop the children’s curiosity about sexuality. Therefore, let us be more open in responding to children’s curiosity so that children will get the correct value of sexuality! Deuteronomy 6:6-7 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

 

Budiman Hadi Pranoto, M. Psi., Psikolog
IPEKA Counseling Center

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